NOVELS BY JULIE ANNE ADDICOTT

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The Curse of the Fallen Series

The Untamed Series

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ABOUT

If you're looking to feed the darkness in your soul, you've come to the right place. Julie Anne Addicott started her author journey in 2016 with her debut novel, Untamed Demon Soul. 

Julie Anne resides in Victoria, Australia, and lives with her husband and four children who encourage her writing and keep the coffee flowing.

Since The Untamed Series, Julie Anne has continued to write, with five novels, and five poetry compilations including The Curse of the Fallen Series that follows the lives of four cursed fallen angels.

For wickedly sinful, and delightfully devilish reads that will carry you through serenity and chaos, follow Julie Anne Addicott on Amazon, Facebook, Goodreads, Twitter, and Instagram.

Julie Anne Addicott

AUTHOR & POET

 
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I Am Not Depression




I have depression. I am depressed.


But I am not depression.


I am a million other things that you would see if you took the time to look beyond the darkness that plagues me.


I have a heart. Admittedly, it loves too much and beats too fast, and sometimes when I least expect it, it doesn’t beat at all. This heart I have inside my chest, it’s destined for a fall. But it’s there, hidden beneath the aches of yesterday where I’ve buried all my hopes and dreams. I dig them out sometimes to sort through the wreckage, to delve into boxes of my broken parts. There, I find the moments that lead to my demise. The tears I cried, the words I heard then gathered up and stored inside my fragile mind.


They became the only words I believed I was worthy of hearing. They defined me. I was hopeless, useless, ugly, fat... all the names, and all their synonyms were mine. I owned them. I lived them. I was destroyed by them.


It’s time to say sorry, to you.


I’m sorry I can’t find those elusive sparks of positivity you always talk about. They pass me by sometimes, fleeting, floating, flying into the vast ebony sky until they’re so far out of reach I can no longer feel them. They’re whispers on the wind, taunting reminders of what I could have been, what I could be, if only I tried.


I’m sorry depression has altered the balance in my brain and makes me believe that this world, this entire beautiful world, would be so much better if I wasn’t part of it. It’s not what I want, but it’s there, taunting me day after day, night after night. It’s the part of depression that drags me down, the part the smothers the light.


I’m sorry I cry into my pillow, and in the shower, and in the car, and every single time I’m alone. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry you’ll never, ever know. I’m sorry I’m not perfect. But I’m sorry I try to be. Because what’s the point of being perfect, when you can never, ever see.


I’m sorry... I am so, so sorry that no matter how hard I try, or how many years pass, or how much I desperately want to be “normal”, depression will always find me. It will sink its poisoned talons into the depths of my soul and hold me down for eternity. But I will fight, and I will try, and I will continue saying sorry for all the times I cry.


I will fight.


But I’m sorry if I’m not strong enough to win.






If you need help, please reach out.


Lifeline AUSTRALIA 13 11 14  


Beyond Blue AUSTRALIA 1300 22 4636  


Kids Help Line AUSTRALIA 1800 55 1800  


AMERICAN Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-TALK (8255)  


Crisis Text Line text TALK to 741741  


Crisis Services CANADA call 1.833.456.4566 or text 45645  


Samaritans UK 116 123    


Childline UK 0800 1111

 
 
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